Repeat after me: I am worth it. I matter. I am a great parent.

Why is it then, that you treat yourself like a second class citizen in your own house? You’re a mom (or a dad or maybe you cover both these gigs at your house- whatever) and you deserve better.

There is no reason that your meals should consist of leftover toast crusts. You should not be the last one you remember to bathe at the end of the day. (That smell, it’s not your kids shoes…it’s you!) The one free hour at the end of the day doesn’t always have to be spent folding tiny pairs of socks. And yes, every once in a while you should be allowed to do something that makes you feel like an amazing, sexy, beautiful whole person. Remember you, the person you were before you were a mother?

Wanna know what I recommend? Take some time and take care of yourself!

I had supper at a good friend’s sisters place a few months ago. As we were talking I noticed her eyelashes fluttering at me and I could barely focus on anything else.

“What is up with your eyelashes?! How did they get to be so long and thick??” I was about 2 inches from her face when I said this, of course.

“They’re fake. Lash extensions. My friend does them. She comes to my house with her massage table and we chat while she does them. She also does nails.”

So, you know what I did when I got home? Oh, I think you can guess. Got that friend’s number, dialed her up and made myself an appointment for fake lashes.

Let’s be clear. I am really not the type to wear fake lashes. I am not a high maintenance beauty type. I sometimes blow dry my hair, I wear basic makeup and my wardrobe is considered a “capsule wardrobe” without even trying.

But getting to lie on that massage table and have someone tend to me in such a delicate and luxurious way makes me feel amazing. I feel refreshed and cared for and when I’m cared for I am so much better at caring for others.

Being a doula means that a lot of my work and time is spent on being mentally and physically involved in other people’s lives. On top of that, being a mom is pretty hard work. I have to take time for self-care.

What is self-care exactly? Maybe you don’t want lash extensions. If that will just make you feel silly then please skip it! Maybe it’s getting out of the house, going to Starbucks and sitting to read a new book. It could be grabbing lunch with an old friend and laughing until your tummy hurts.

Self-care means remembering that you need to take care of yourself in order to take care of other people. Like the flight attendants tell you: put on your mask first, then your child’s.

What are you going to do this week to invest some energy into yourself? How can you take care of yourself so that you can be a better parent?