One of the first things a pregnant woman will tell me when we sit down to talk about her upcoming birth and what she wants for the experience is “You need to know: I HATE needles and I am NOT good with pain.”
EVERY.SINGLE.TIME
If this photo scares you, you’re not alone.
“Hey, what a coincidence! I feel the SAME way!” is my usual response. Because really, I don’t know too many people who love the idea of getting poked with needles and being in tons of pain.
One of the biggest misconceptions about birth is that there needs to be some choice made in advance in regards to pain management and getting an epidural. The reality is, it isn’t ever black and white or one or the other.
Especially for those who are looking into hiring a doula, I feel they expect that I will have a strong opinion on what they choose or how they want to manage pain during birth. Things are often said with trepidation:
“I really want a natural birth, but if it gets to be too hard I… might…you know, think about getting an epidural.”
OR
“I know you probably had natural births, and all your clients probably want no drugs but I’ve thought about it and I’ve decided that it’s not for me. Is that…okay?”
OR
“I hate needles so much that there’s no way I will even think about an epidural. That’s my biggest fear- THE NEEDLE. But, I also really don’t handle pain well….so I’m not sure how this is going to work…”
Let’s face it- the epidural looks pretty good when you’re in so much pain that you don’t care if it requires 5 needles being placed in different spots in your body all at once. If you’re unable to cope and manage the pain and want the epidural you’ve probably decided that the fear of needles is less than your fear of the pain.
To quote Shakespeare, “Therein lies the rub.”
Do you need to make a choice? Is it really so cut and dry? Is it either PAIN or NEEDLE?
Well, sometimes. But, in many, many cases I have worked with people who have planned an epidural and then their labour has progressed in a way that they didn’t end up needing one. Other times I have attended births where the epidural was placed and yet, there was still pain and discomfort to cope with.
It would be easier if we could know in advance- “Will I able to cope with the pain during labor?” “Will I need to get an epidural?”
I wish I had the answer. My advice- keep an open mind. Know that there are millions of women who have gone through labour without an epidural and they would even do it again! (Even with a fear of needles and terribly low tolerance for pain!) There are also people who have gotten epidurals, regardless of the fear of getting one, and that it has worked extremely well for them.
Just remember- it’s not a decision that needs to be made TODAY and know that you’re not alone. Labour and birth is not easy, and it requires stamina and strength no matter what choices you make. As a doula, I’m there to support whatever that labour looks like, even if it’s not what you had originally planned.
