Ahhh, Mother’s Day. The second Sunday in May. Otherwise known as one of my least favorite holidays (following my intense dislike of Valentine’s Day).
Growing up I was surrounded by women. I was raised by my mom and she was a typical single mother- busy and stressed, working hard to support her three children with little thanks from us. Life was crazy, and definitely not perfect, but she did what she could for my sister, brother, and me.
My mother and me.
My extended family was rounded out by my three aunts, their spouses and children, and my grandmother as matriarch. Women were the heads of families, women were in charge of their own lives and women pretty much ruled the world as far as I was concerned. The men in our family tended to be on the outside, hiding in the basement watching football as we women dominated the family gatherings.
As such a matriarchal family, it’s obvious then that Mother’s Day would be sort of a big deal. It involved the same things every year: expectations from my Nana that the family would all travel to see her (her birthday was May 10th, so often the two events would land on the same day), and expectations from my mother that she should be showered in gifts.
As a child, I was mostly upset because Mother’s Day fell a few days before MY birthday, which when you’re 7 or 8 years old, is more than inconvenient. I often felt that Mother’s Day overshadowed what I felt was a very important day and my birthday seemed an afterthought. I resented the fanfare that came with the holiday and would complain that a Children’s Day didn’t exist. My mother would shoot me down with “Every day is children’s day!”. Touche mum.
Fast forward to present time, with my Nana having passed away and the new generation in our family becoming parents, Mother’s Day has changed. My mother still expects to be showered in gifts- except now I am MORE than happy to do so. In fact, throughout the year I try to make sure my mother feels loved and appreciated. Getting older and becoming a mother has changed my perspective, as it should. Now that I’m a mother I feel that just like children’s day, EVERY day should be Mother’s Day.
Why should mothers have to work such a thankless job all year just to wait for that second Sunday in May to get a card and some chocolates?? I now understand the importance and why the mothers in my family took the day so seriously.
I’m still on the fence about Mother’s Day, to be honest. It is so much more fulfilling for me to be hugged and kissed every morning by my little boys than it is to be given a Hallmark card one day in May. It is also so much more meaningful to me that I have a loving relationship with my mother throughout the whole year instead of buying her some expensive hand cream to celebrate this holiday.
So- THAT is why I “hate” Mother’s Day.
P.S- Mum, I know you’re reading this. Don’t worry, I will still get you a gift to open this weekend.
