I woke up one morning, not long after having my first child, and realized that since giving birth I hadn’t done anything just for me. It felt like the person I used to be was so far away I could only see a blurred outline of her. I missed my alone time, I missed my friends and I missed the person who people called Megan, not Megan the Mom.
I immediately went online and looked around for activities for adults with free time during the week. And that’s how I found myself a couple of weeks later sitting in a watercolour class.
Yes, you can laugh.
Other than the one shining moment in my art career when I painted a watercolour of some daylilies in grade 11 art class, I had no place being in this class. But, it was perfect. First off, it was 3 hours long, which was exactly as long as I felt comfortable leaving my breastfed baby even though I also made sure he had a full bottle of pumped milk in case he needed it. It was also next to an amazing bakery, where I could pick up a latte and a pastry and so off I went once a week to sit in silence with a bunch of strangers and paint.
Unsurprisingly, this class didn’t suddenly make me feel like my old self but it was a start.
I don’t think I’m alone in saying that many new moms feel like they’ve suddenly lost a part of themselves and that they feel like their new role of being Mommy takes over. Suddenly, you’re constantly in charge of someone else, and you may feel like you don’t have a moment to even think about your needs or what makes you happy.
This is so normal. It sucks, but it’s normal.
My advice? Find something that makes you feel connected to yourself. It might be an art class, or it might be running, or a monthly get together with your best friend. Remember the things that you used to do and reconnect with those things.You are not JUST a mom. You are not ONLY a mom. There is more to you than just the (very important and meaningful!) work you do taking care of your new child. Trust me, you’ll thank yourself.
For me that is knitting. When my boys were little I’d go to knit nights at Cafe and pubs. I’ve made a handful of life long friends that way, been a part of community at projects, and found a lot of joy.